The Hibernation Hoodie
Navy Blue / Hoodie only
$54.99
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The Hibernation Hoodie
$54.99
🎉 First order?
Get 25% off — just add your email at checkout, no code needed.
Estimated delivery within 7-15 business days
You already know how tonight is going. The plans are getting cancelled, the phone is going face down, and nothing with buttons is happening. This is what you put on for that.
The Hibernation Hoodie is less a sweatshirt than a blanket that finally learned to follow you around. Double-sided plush fleece, a hood deep enough to disappear into, and a front pocket big enough for a phone, a remote, and both hands at once. One size, and we mean it — a 61.5" bust means this thing drapes on absolutely everyone, which is the entire point. You are not supposed to look fitted. You are supposed to look unavailable.
Grab it with the matching socks if you want the full set. Cold feet ruin the whole operation.
What you're actually getting
No thresholds, no size-chart roulette, no surprises at checkout.
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Free shipping. Not “over $75.” Free.
Every order, every color. There is no minimum to hit and nothing to add to your cart to unlock it.
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Matching slipper socks for $10 more
Cable knit with sherpa-lined cuffs, dyed to match the hoodie. Pick a “+ Socks” color above and they ship together in one box.
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25% off your first order
Applied automatically at checkout when you add your email. There is no code to go hunting for.
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Ships in 7–15 business days
We would rather tell you here than at the confirmation screen. You will get tracking the moment it moves.
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Not what you hoped for? Keep it.
We will refund or replace it. You do not need to ship a blanket back across the world to make that happen.
Details:
- 🧸 Double-sided plush fleece, 80% polyester — thick, heavy, the good kind of warm
- 📏 One size fits most — 61.5" bust, 39.5" length (converted to US measurements from supplier sizing)
- 🕳️ Oversized kangaroo pocket and a full, deep hood
- 🎨 Eight colors, from "I have my life together" grey to wine red
- 🫧 Machine wash cold, tumble dry low, and never iron the fluff
Questions we get a lot:
Is it really one size? Yes, and it is enormous on purpose. At 61.5" around the bust it is closer to a wearable blanket than a hoodie, so it drapes rather than fits. If you are between sizes in everything else, this is the rare piece where that does not matter.
Is it actually warm, or just fluffy? Both sides are plush — sherpa on the outside, dense soft fleece against you — so it holds heat the way a throw blanket does, not the way a thin fleece pullover does.
Will I look like I'm wearing a sack? A little, and that is the point. It is cut to swallow you deliberately, with batwing sleeves and a long hem, so it reads intentional rather than sloppy.
What comes in the set? The socks variants include the hoodie plus a matching pair of cable-knit slipper socks with sherpa-lined cuffs, shipped together.
Off duty. Indefinitely.